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Guiltless (4/1/10)

I am going to admit this
but don’t expect guilt
or remorse.

Last night
I slept
with Ray
and awoke this morning
holding him comfortably
against my chest.

Oh, don’t go acting all surprised.
Have you taken a good look at what you have brought home lately?

And, yes, I heard what you said about the difference in our ages.
I don’t really care that he is older.

Maybe, his maturity is part of the appeal.

I just don’t understand people my own age.
Why does everything have to be right-there,
in-your-face like too many bad tattoos
and insane piercings?

Why do I have to suffer through
bad grammar and an onslaught of
four letter words?

I deserve better.

Ray isn’t like that at all.
You would like him.
He is polite.
He is kind.

Ray is better!

It’s funny,
we have spent a lot of time together since December
and the worst word he has ever used
is “damn” and then only when he was quoting someone else.

Like I said, he is a nice man.

A good companion.

Last night we sat on the couch,
just the two of us,
with a single light lit.

No TV, no stereo, no distractions.

We sat and I listened to his stories
until it was time to retire.

I prepared for bed then
just held him gently
while he told me about Bug.

Bug is the nickname he gave to one of his
college friends. Bug was short for Jitterbug
which was what Bug did better than anyone.

And as Ray told me about Bug I fell asleep…

I awoke this morning feeling his weight upon my chest
and smiled at how nice it felt
to wake with the confidence last night’s intimacies
would be repeated again tonight.

So, this morning, ten minutes before the alarm
was set to awaken me,
I reached down,
so as not to disturb him,
and placed the bookmark partway into the story, “Bug”
and placed Ray Bradbury back on the nightstand
where he will wait
for me
until tonight.

Sleep well.

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